Advice on Writing for Eggplant Emoji, and Biggest Mistakes Made by Submitters

What does it take to get a comedy piece accepted by Eggplant Emoji?

Submissions for Eggplant Emoji Vol. 5 open on March 3, more details here.

Eggplant Emoji is different from other comedy publications because instead of premise-based or headline-based pieces, we focus on character-driven stories with a beginning, middle, and end. Most comedy publications cap their word count at 1,000 words, but that is the minimum word count for Eggplant Emoji because we believe at least a couple thousand words are necessary to get to know a character and tell a whole story.

The philosophy of Eggplant Emoji is reminiscent of a quote from South Park:

“When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story. Deep situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a point.” - Eric Cartman

Describe the ideal submission to Eggplant Emoji

• A story between 4k-8k words.

• A really catchy title.

• A striking first line that makes us laugh.

• A consistent tempo of wit and punchlines to maintain a comedic tone.

• Characters who act based on their motivations.

• A full story arc with multiple scenes.

• A plot driven by character motivation.

Some of this is just basic writing advice. The best way to grab a reader is with a great title and an even better first line. Readers are drawn to stories that are driven by character motivation; the characters should move the story forward, rather than the story moving the characters forward. One of the most important aspects to remember for Eggplant Emoji is that a comedic tempo must be established and maintained with consistent wit / punchlines.

What are the most common mistakes made by submitters to Eggplant Emoji?

• Submitting a piece that is 1,000 words or less.

• Submitting a premise-based piece.

• Submitting an essay.

• Submitting a piece that is only one scene.

• Submitting a piece that only has one joke / witty line.

There are plenty of other comedic outlets that publish essays and premise-based pieces, which we love to read, however Eggplant Emoji is strictly for character-driven comedic prose fiction. This means that we also do not accept plays, lists, articles, transcripts or screenplays, or any other non-prose format. We want to be whisked away in a story and see characters change, which usually requires more than 1,000 words, and usually requires more than one scene. If your story has fewer words than this blog post, it probably is not a match for Eggplant Emoji. It’s important that a comedic tempo is established and maintained – this can be subjective, especially for dark humor – but a comedic piece cannot rely on one punchline at the very end.

What are some other tips for submitters to Eggplant Emoji?

• Read previous Volumes of Eggplant Emoji to get a sense of what we are looking for. Paperback and eBook editions of Eggplant Emoji are available on Amazon, and are free on KindleUnlimited.

• Read the “How to Write Funny” Series by Scott Dikkers. The first two books are a great way to get the basics of writing comedy down, plus “How to Write Funny Characters” breaks down all of the comedy archetypes, which are essential to understand for anyone who wants to create hilarious characters.

• Join a writing critique group – this is more general writing advice. Anyone who is serious about getting better as a writer should find a group of other writers who they trust to give them honest feedback on their work. Writing is a solitary experience, so it’s important to get other peoples’ perspectives, especially for comedy, to hear what is and what is not working. Plus, it helps to bounce ideas off other people.

If you made it this far, and you think your work is the right fit for Eggplant Emoji, we hope that you submit it to us. Submissions for Eggplant Emoji Volume 5 open on March 3, more information can be found here. We look forward to reading your comedic fiction!